


Ample Assumptions

by JenJo



Series: Clint Barton Bingo 2019 [4]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Clint/Steve is not established, M/M, but is definitely in their future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 13:38:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18447677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenJo/pseuds/JenJo
Summary: Clint has never met his roommate. He thinks he's sharing his house with a vampire.Kate thinks he's an idiot.





	Ample Assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> Clint Barton Bingo- Square E1, "Roommates"
> 
> The YA are all vampires, because why not.

_ “Your roommate isn’t a vampire.” _

 

“You know that for a fact? You know every vampire in New York or something?”

 

_ “Actually, I do. It’s the law.” _

 

“That doesn’t sound right.”

 

_ “Clint.” _

 

“Kate.”

 

_ “I don’t tell you how to be a human-” _

 

“You literally do so, every day.”

 

_ “-and you don’t tell me how to be a vampire.” _

 

“Why do I talk to you?”

 

“ _ Because you have a grand total of four friends, and I’m the only one guaranteed to answer the phone.” _

 

“Harsh, but fair.”

 

_ “How about I drop by, take a look in person, so to speak. To put your mind at ease.” _

 

“Have I ever mentioned that you’re the best?”

 

“ _ You could mention it a few more times. I’ll be there late afternoon.” _

 

“Thanks, Kate.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kate came by a little after four, not even bothering to knock before walking into Clint’s place. He had long ago given her blanket permission to enter his place, wherever he might be living. This was after one memorable occasion where he had fallen asleep without his aids in, and Kate had spent two hours waiting for him to wake up.

 

“What do you know about your roommate?” Kate asked, nodding at the closed door. 

 

Clint shrugged, motioning for Kate to join him on the couch. “Not much.”

 

“A name?” When Clint shook his head, Kate’s face fell. “What the hell Clint?”

 

“What?”

 

“You should know the name of someone you’re living with.”

 

“He came with the place.”

 

Kate blinked. And blinked again. “Come again?”

 

“When I signed the lease, I got told that it was cheap  _ because  _ of the other occupant. I honestly didn’t care, so here I am.”

 

Kate was silent for a few moments. “You are a  _ disaster _ .”

 

“Such wisdom,” Clint responded, completely deadpan. “I could not  _ possibly  _ have lived without knowing that information.”

 

“ _ You  _ called  _ me _ , remember? I have the right to point out your mistakes as much as I want.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“So, we don’t have a name. What do we have? Why do you think you live with a vampire?”

 

Clint paused for a moment, considering. “They only leave their room at night. Never during the day.”

 

“And how is that proof of anything?”

 

“You told me that new vampires can’t walk in the sun.”

 

“So now you’re saying you live with a  _ new  _ vampire?”

 

“Possibly? Any time I buy garlic, it ends up disappearing.”

 

“Maybe they really like garlic?” Kate was getting more and more concerned with each statement;  _ Clint  _ really  _ seems to think he’s living with a rogue vampire. And if he’s right, then we’ve got much bigger problems. _

 

“The house never smells of garlic.”

 

“Hmm. Not  _ really  _ proof of anything.”

 

“There’s no mirrors in this house. Not even in the bathroom.”

 

“Mirrors can be expensive.” Kate shrugs. “Besides, any modern mirror would show a vampire’s reflection just fine.”

 

“All of our cutlery is plastic.”

 

“Because you can afford  _ silver  _ cutlery?”

 

“You think I’m paranoid.”

 

“I  _ know  _ you’re paranoid. There’s a difference.” 

 

Clint sighed, shaking his head. “It’s a bunch of little things that add up to something. Tell me you don’t see it.”

 

“From your point of view, I see it,” Kate conceded, before tapping her nose. “But I’m telling you; whoever your roommate is, they’re not a vampire. I would know.”

 

Clint dropped his head onto the back of the couch. “What do I do, Kate?”

 

“Talk to your roommate.”

 

“How?”

 

“Uh, you hang out here, wait for them to leave their room, and introduce yourself. Like a  _ normal person _ .”

 

Clint narrowed his eyes. “I can’t believe  _ you  _ are telling me to be a normal person.”

 

“You keep trying to convince me that you’re a human.”

 

“I  _ am _ .”

 

“So act like one. Humans introduce themselves to the people they share a place with.”

 

“So why haven’t  _ they  _ talked to  _ me _ ?”

 

“Because they’re as much of a disaster as you are?”

 

Clint opened his mouth with a response, before closing it. “Damn, I hadn’t even considered that.”

 

“Of course you hadn’t.”  Kate shook her head sadly, patting Clint’s knee. “Just talk to them. Who knows, you might just make friend number five.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kate ended up staying, the two watching television and waiting for The Roommate to appear. Kate kept looking over her shoulder, while Clint did all he could to not look backwards. 

 

Sometime after sunset, the door opened, and Kate was standing up, walking away before Clint could even comprehend that she had moved.

 

“Hi there!”

 

“Hello? Do I know you?”

 

“I’m Kate. I look out for Clint.”

 

“Clint, the guy who lives with me?”

 

“You know his name?”

 

“Of course; what kind of person doesn’t know the name of the person they live with?”

 

Clint dropped his head into his hands. “What even is my life?”

 

“So, it turns out that Clint doesn’t know  _ your  _ name, and by extension,  _ I  _ don’t know it either.”

 

“I’m Steve.” 

  
Clint looked up; Kate was blocking his view of Steve, but not by much. Clint could see blond hair, and broad shoulders covered in what looked like a suit jacket.

 

“Steve, huh? Nice name for a nice-”

 

Kate’s response was muffled by Clint’s hand. “I apologise for her, she has no filter on her mouth.”

 

Kate rolled her eyes, while Steve laughed. “Nice to meet you, Clint.”

 

“And you, Steve.” And now that he had a proper view of Steve, he could say just  _ how  _ nice it was. Steve was wearing a suit, with a bag slung easily over his torso. He looked like a real life James Bond. If James Bond was blond. And American. And- Clint stopped that train of thought, lowering his hand from Kate’s mouth.

 

Kate didn’t waste any time in speaking.  “He thought you were a vampire.”

 

Clint groaned. “Kate, I am going to ban you from my house.”

 

“No you won’t, you love me.” Kate winked at Steve. “He loves me.”

 

“I see.”

 

“But not like  _ that _ . Clint is one hundred percent available, if you’re into disaster humans.”

 

“ _ Kate _ ,” Clint almost growled, while Steve definitely had a smile on his face.

 

“I’ll see you around,” and with a wave, Kate had disappeared from the place.

 

Clint dragged a hand down his face. 

 

“A vampire, huh?”

 

Clint’s eyes went back to Steve, who looked very amused. “There was evidence to suggest it.”

 

“Such as?”

 

“Never out during the day, no garlic, no mirrors.”

 

“I work nights, I’m allergic to garlic, and the house didn’t have any mirrors when I moved in, and I never considered it.”

 

Clint shook his head, closing his eyes. “Now I feel like an idiot.”

 

“You’re an interesting man, Clint.”

 

Clint opened his eyes slowly. “Wait until you get to know me, you’ll think differently.”

 

“I look forward to it.”

 

“You  _ do _ ?”

 

Steve nodded. “Yeah. Unfortunately, it will have to wait; I start work in forty five minutes and need to head out.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Clint muttered, stepping back. “Have fun?”

 

“Unlikely, but you never know.” Steve shrugged, moving to the door. “See you around, Clint.”

 

Clint stood watching Steve, and it wasn’t until he had stared at the closed door for five minutes that he remembered to reply. “Bye Steve.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :D


End file.
